The Jeep wasn't scheduled to be sold until Sunday. The E-Bay auction wouldn't end in time to get the down payment so I could start classes on Monday. I was devastated. Not many people around me believe in what I am doing. Michael is supportive beyond belief and has been encouraging me every step of the way, making sure I don't loose sight of what's ahead. He is amazing. But others, my parents mostly, are not as enthused. In fact, they are skeptical, anxious and somewhat angry. I can understand their point of view. Their concern is for my son, Kasey. What will he do without his Mama? Who will care for him? Wont he miss me? Wont I miss out on all of the major events in his life? All of these things re legitimate concerns, both for my parents and myself.
When I find myself wondering if I can handle it, I just take a moment to recall the reasons that I wanted to do this to begin with. I want the freedom and the independence, I want the chance to go places I never may have traveled, see things I may have never dreamed of...I want something for me. The greatest thing is that doing this doesn't benefit only myself. It benefits Kasey in that I can provide for him in a way I never thought was possible. I can support my family and provide us with a healthy and stable future. Will I miss him? Of course I will, but with technology being what it is, I can see him everyday, talk to him anytime I please and stay connected through any major event I miss.
So, the Jeep. I'm thinking about the people who don't believe in what I'm doing and I forget that I may not even be able to attain it. I was down. I was disappointed, to say the least. The one thing that I actually want for myself is the one thing I may not ever get an opportunity to discover. I was talking with Michael about it and he in turn, spoke to his mom about it. She doesn't understand why I want to take this path, but she is supportive. She was surprised to hear that I wanted to go out on the road, but was not negative in anyway. In fact, the only question she asked was, 'Sara, are you SURE this is what YOU want?' And bless her heart, if she didn't give us a loan for the $2,500 I would need to register! There is someone looking out for me after all
I called Dave and scheduled my final appointment. I met with him today (Friday). Just walking in the door fires up the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I know that no one I pass truly knows why I am there, but I feel this overwhelming sense of pride being a woman and walking in the door, knowing the adventure I am about to embark on. Dave, as always, was thrilled to see me. My excitement is infectious. I always have the biggest 'dazzling white' smile on face (as Michael calls it.) I can't help but smile, the energy in the air is rejuvenating! Dave told me I was the most excited person he'd seen, which surprised me. So many people appreciate simply having a job, why NOT be excited about a job you might actually enjoy?
At any rate, I signed my schooling contract and my admission forms this afternoon and I am OFFICIALLY a CDL Student! I can not express the satisfaction I feel knowing that the only thing standing between me and my goal is me, and I'm not planning on getting in my own way. The trucking forum is an exceptional tool in assisting me with staying focused. I am learning more than I ever thought possible! I can't say how grateful I am to everyone who is honest. I say honest because I am able to read and the good, the bad and the ugly. It is refreshing to be prepared for some of the many challenges I will face and even more encouraging to witness those who have already overcome those challenges and shared their solutions.
My best friend Jairica and I are heading out this weekend to commemorate my acceptance and the beginning of my new career. What we will be doing is cliche at best and lame at worst, but for us, it is a connection we can share with each other as a celebration. We are going to the Flying J to purchase my very first Truckers Hat! (I apologize if that is rude or stereotypical to some) For me, this event will signal the start of a whole new world that is now open for me. Thank you to everyone for reading and for offering your words of encouragement.
......I'm going to be a trucker!!!
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